2014 was the beginning of my self-love journey. It is when I finally decided that I was worthy of time and effort. Since then it has been a journey filled with ups and downs, moments of failure, moments of clarity, BUT most importantly, an understanding of who I am and why I should love her.
My past made me believe that I was unlovable. Not just by other people but unlovable to myself. That I wasn’t deserving of that sort of connection. That self-love was impossible for me because I was damaged and broken. That’s what I told myself for many years. And believed all of those lies.
In 2014, I wish I would have known someone like Shelly. Someone who would have made me feel less alone and someone who was willing to walk the journey with me hand in hand. Knowing that it could be done even though it was going to be the hardest thing I ever did for myself.
That was my year of transformation but the best part is that my transformation has never ended. It keeps progressing and moving me forward. Finding new ways to heal. New ways to grow. New ways to love myself on an even deeper level than I could have imagined.
WHAT IS PILLARS OF TRANSFORMATION?
It is a 6-week course created by Shelly, owner of Mistic Freed. Every week has a different foundation that you work on to help you transform into a braver, more powerful version of yourself. Who doesn’t want that?
I have done a lot of the work that Shelly has in her course but there is a magic to having someone do it with you. There is knowledge in the fact that this time I am beginning this program stronger than I was in 2014. I’m ready to dig deeper than I have done in the past. I am ready to create a stronger relationship with myself than I already have. I am ready to heal the parts of me that I haven’t even touched yet.
Week 1 is all about gratitude. I have been working on gratitude lists for a while now but I don’t seem to stick with them. I will write them for a week straight and then lose focus and put it off because I have more “important” things to do. Shelly is helping me to maintain my focus. I now have an accountability partner because she is there, cheering me on.
So why start with gratitude? As Shelly put it, you need to have a strong foundation before you can build a house. For me, that means that I need to look, appreciate, and feel all of the positive things in my life. All the miracles that I have that I may take for granted.
Attitude is more important than facts.
The smallest moment can create the biggest change. That is what gratitude is all about. No that doesn’t mean that every day is happy or stress-free. It means that I can look at my harder days and know what I am truly blessed to have in my life.
Mindset comes first. It helps to rewire the brain and change becomes easier. Change that will help you to create the love for yourself that you have always craved. You don’t crave to lose weight. You don’t crave to find love. Deep down you are craving to love who you are at this moment. Gratitude helps that craving. It fills the need that you have to be loved and to love who you are. Self-love is the most powerful love of all.
Are you struggling to find what you are grateful for? Shelly’s advice: Figure out your moment. We all have moments where we feel appreciated, loved, and fulfilled. What was that moment for you? Find it and love it. Write it down. Appreciate it. Soak in those emotions that you felt during that moment. That’s what gratitude is about. Your moments in everyday life that make you appreciate where you are.
Need help even more? Start small. Some examples that I have used at the beginning of my gratification process.
I am grateful that I can brush my teeth by myself.
I am grateful that I have lunches to pack because it means that I have a family.
I am grateful for hot water to shower in.
I am grateful for the house that I live in.
I am grateful that I can walk up the stairs in my home with no help.
What is in your life that you may take for granted every single day? We all have those things. Those things that we do on a daily basis and have done for many years. So many years that now we aren’t grateful for them anymore.
Another thing that Shelly said that stopped me and has been replaying in my head since the moment she said it is…..
Who are the people you have NEVER made you feel rejected?
Powerful question. Who are they? For me, it would have to be my grandma. Not once did she ever put me down or even question the decisions that I made. She always supported me. She always had something positive to say. She always was there to remind me of everything that I am and not what I am not. Who is that for you? Thank them. That would be a great way to begin your gratitude list.
So what has week 1 of Pillars of Transformation taught me?
It has taught me to live more in the moment. To embrace the small moments throughout the day that I would often overlook. That my life is filled with so much goodness. That I need to show those around me that I appreciate them and the role that they play in my life. That a simple gratitude list in the morning can remind me of all that life has to offer. I walk out of my bedroom with a smile on my face and that is the perfect way to start my day. Even when all around me, life is chaotic, I remembered all that I have and all that I continue to have.