Pillars of Transformation: Week 4

Lazy. A word that I absolutely despise in the English language. A word that denotes the lowest level of activity possible. A word that leaves you feeling worthless to everyone around you and to yourself.

This is a word that I do not use to describe myself. A word that I don't use to describe anyone. There have been times in my life when, because of my body size, I have been referred to as lazy. People seem to believe that being plus size means that I need to move more and eat less. A thought that I used to believe described me perfectly. That was when I hated who I was.


Week 4 in the Pillars of transformation course has been all about movement. I have taken a different approach to this. There are certain things that I love to do but don't do them. I allow life to overtake me and I put myself on the back burner. This doesn't always happen with just movement but currently, it is one of my biggest struggles. Finding time to workout is a true struggle for me. I always put it off until I am so tired from putting everything else in front of exercise that I just crawl into bed and get mad at myself for another day without intentional movement.

I don't want to move to lose weight. I don't want to move because someone thinks I need to lose weight. I don't want to move because it is a new year and that's what we are supposed to focus on. I don’t want to avoid exercise because it makes me feel less than I am.

Here is a truth for you. There are days I am ready to exercise. Ready to get in my movement and then begin. I just do it and then I get discouraged. I can be doing a new yoga practice but feel like I can’t compare to the person on the screen. I let my ego down because there was a certain move I couldn’t complete and I allow it to stop me. I allow my ego to tell me that I am useless and no good and that I shouldn’t even be doing yoga.

I want to be intentional in my movements. Find joy in the activity that I add in or bring back into my life. I want to feel my body move in ways I didn't think were possible. I want to improve my sex life. I want to run around with my kids more. I want to have random dance parties in my living room because that's what brings me joy. I want to feel as though my life just flows and with that comes a movement that inspires me, ignites my creativity, and sparks motivation inside of myself.

As I reflect on this past week, I know that I haven't added movement in yet. Instead, I have been focusing on my whys. The reasons for my movement.

What makes me fall in love with yoga?

What makes me forget the clock and do the moves?

What makes me feel more alive during the activity?

Movement to me is so much more than the act of doing it. It is in appreciating what my body can do at the moment. I want to teach my kids to love what their body CAN do; NOT what people think it SHOULD do.

Movement for me is life. It is about exploring the world, creating memories, and cheering my kids on.

Shelly has reminded me time and time again that movement isn’t a competition. That there is no right way or wrong way to create additional activity in my life. To start small doesn’t mean that I am failing in any way. It means that I am trying. And trying is the best way to begin a new habit that you want to create.


Start small. Add things into your daily life that you may not feel are “exercise”. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Do squats while watching a tv show. Turn on your favorite song and just dance. Small changes every day add up.

Just begin. This is the advice that I am going to focus on. The hardest part is just doing it so here is my vow to start. If you want a partner to check in with you, feel free to message me. I am always looking for cheerleaders.

Schedule it in. Take a look at your schedule. We are all busy but as I say in tip #1, start small. Schedule in 10 minutes to do a quick yoga video. Look honestly at your schedule and pick a time that you can do it. Let your family know that this is what you plan to do. Ask them to join you. Make it a family event.

Your extra movement doesn’t have to be a crazy 1-hour gym session. If you enjoy that, well then, congratulations! You are unlike most of the population. Movement should be fun and enjoyable. Give yourself this kind of self-care because you love yourself, not because you hate your body. If anyone would like to join me for a 30-day yoga challenge, I’d love to have you. Let’s cheer each other on while doing yoga from the comfort of our own home.

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