When you think of self-love, you think about being all positive and embracing who you are. But what actually happens when you get there? How does your life change?
When I began my self-love journey, I didn’t have books to read or anywhere to turn. There wasn’t a huge movement that had started yet so along the way, I created my own path. I did what I needed to do and would do the same steps over and over again. The same steps still apply to me today.
However what I thought self-love was and what self-love actually is, are 2 different ways of being. Real self-love is raw, real, emotional, and embracing who you are in every moment of every day. Connecting with the woman that I am in the present moment even though she may not be the woman that I envision for the future.
Self-love isn’t a destination. It is a journey that I work on every day that I wake up and get out of bed. It is in the moments of teaching my children what they need to know. It is in the moments when I can’t help but cry over anything that has come up. It is in the moments I sit in my therapist’s office and give her details of the thoughts in my head that I didn’t think I would share with anyone. It is knowing that there is no final stop but continuing on the journey because I know that this is what I need and what my children need.
Today I wanted to share with you some of the side effects of self-love. What I have found to be true through my 5-year journey so far. A journey that I feel is just beginning and will only take me to places that I never imagined.
Side effects of self-love
You look at food differently. In today's world, that is super empowering. Being able to look at a slice of pizza as just a slice of pizza. Experimenting and playing with foods in the kitchen has become fun. Teaching my kids how to cook has become important to me. Food is no longer the enemy. I can eat pizza. I can eat a salad. I can drink soda. I can drink water. My life has become more balanced. It has become less focused on bad vs good when it comes to food. I eat because I love my body. Food is just-food.
I accept my emotions for what they are. No more feeling bad because I went up 0.5 pounds. I exercise because I love it. I go outside because nature makes me happy and calm. When I'm having a bad day, I write a gratitude list to shift my thoughts. If that doesn't work, I allow the emotions to come out in a journal. Feelings aren't bad. How I feel and react is a part of who I am and I accept all of that now. And being a Cancer, I have many many emotions in a day. 😂
Self-care isn't selfish. I count this as a side effect because it is 1 of the biggest lessons I have learned. Why is it that we think taking care of ourselves is selfish? We don't think our children are selfish for needing us. So why feel that about you when you need you? I still think that there is this thought that self-care has to be grand. Well, it doesn't. It CAN be but it doesn't HAVE to be. Everyone’s needs are different which means that everyone needs something else as self-care. Don’t punish yourself for needing to be taken care of. Every human needs it and you beautiful, are human.
The sex becomes great. I hated having sex when I hated my body. I didn’t want my husband to see me. I didn’t want him to touch me. I thought that because I hated my body that he hated my body. It wasn’t until I embraced who I was (and am) that I realized my body is worth the love. My body deserves pleasure. Sex became fun again. There was no more hiding in the dark. There was no more questioning him if he thought I was sexy. There was just us, with the lights on, discovering who we were for the first time in a long time. Embrace your body and watch your sex life improve.
Of course, there are many more side effects of self-love but those are the ones that surprised me the most. Was there something that you learned while falling in love with yourself?
Follow along on my IG so you can see all of the beautiful self-love letters that start on February 1st. That is this Saturday!!!!