Updated: Jan 7
I am a reader.
I love books. I read every single day. It is one of the self-care rituals that I truly need to have in my life. I love every type of book. Well except for sci-fi books. They really aren’t my thing. I read mostly self-help and thriller books. The ones that keep you on the edge of your bed the whole time you are reading them. The best, right?
When the schools first closed down here in March, it was truly amazing to wake up when we just woke up instead of to alarms. My kids were happier and we were loving the more laid back life. We do crave routine though so when school started back in September with in-person classes full time, we were all ready.
We are lucky that they don’t start super early so we don’t have to get up and out of bed until 7:30. There was always this little voice inside of me that kept telling me that, in order to be great, I needed to get up at 5 am. Be part of that 5 am club or I was doing myself a disservice.
So I tried every morning to wake up at 5 am. Only to reset my alarm to 6 am. Then reset it again until 6:45 am and then again to 7:15 am. All the while beating myself up, thinking that I will accomplish nothing and that I am such a disappointment to myself and to my family. All because I didn’t wake up at 5 am.
I was on a vicious cycle of thinking that I wasn’t going to achieve success because I wasn’t one of those people who are getting up at the crack of dawn. That meant that my day couldn’t be productive or be what I wanted it to be.
WHEN A FRIEND STEPS IN AS A COACH
I have been thinking about hiring another business coach to help me grow my business. I am a creative person but sometimes I struggle with the implementation of the steps I need to take to grow my business. So as I was discussing this with my wonderful friend, Tara, she said to me that it isn’t a business coach that I need. I need someone who will help me get to my next level life.
So I reached out to another friend, Gina, who is another amazing human being. Gina is a spiritual mindset coach. I love that I have surrounded myself with women who know exactly what I need even when I don’t. That is what friends and a support system are all about.
Tara was 100% right. Her words were...
You don’t need more business or marketing courses. You know this stuff. You need mindset, forgiveness and faith and that is Gina.
Yesterday, Gina and I had a call to talk about coaching. She worked her magic and walked me through what to do for the month of December because I don’t want to hire her until January. Let me get through the holiday season first.
THE MAGIC OF SOMEONE VALIDATING WHAT YOU ARE SAYING
Gina asked me about what my next level life looked like. It took me a while to think about it. I have dreams and goals that I want to accomplish but truly never gave much thought to what I want my everyday life to look like. It is the everyday life that truly matters in the scheme of things.
She listened to me. Gina has this contagious energy that engulfs you when you talk to her. You can’t help but imagine living your best life. So I closed my eyes and dreamt of my life. You know what came up and I didn’t tell Gina about.
Fear of thinking that what I wanted was wrong. That I would be judged for what I wanted to achieve and for how I wanted my life to look. Fear for thinking that people would think less of me for wanting what I wanted so I told her something smaller to keep the fear at bay.
Gina and I spoke about how I was trying to wake up at 5 am because that is what I am supposed to do but it just isn’t working. And then she said something that I needed to hear.
If it doesn’t work for you then find something that does.
Such a simple concept but I wasn’t listening to myself or my body. I was taking the books more seriously than myself. I thought that they were the experts and I was just somebody that was trying to be like them. I wanted success and thought that I had to do it THEIR way.
I woke up differently this morning. I set my alarm to 6:42 knowing that I could lay there. There was no pressure to get up and try to do my morning routine in a forced way. I got my meditation done for the first time in over a month. I got up and had a shower and got dressed. My morning consisted of no fighting and enough time to do what I needed to do.
I have energy today. I feel like I am no longer at war with myself. I don’t feel bad for waking up when I did. It took Gina telling me that it was okay that 5 am didn’t work for me to truly listen to what my body was telling me the whole time.
WHO ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
I love books but I have learned that they aren’t the expert in my life. They are giving me information that I can then take and use in my life how it will fit in. My dream life isn’t wrong in any way. Dreaming of what I want my life to look like is a way for me to step into that woman. A way for me to be truthful with myself about what I want out of this life. Life is too short to let that fear tell me that what I WANT is wrong.
I want you to walk away with something that Gina told me to do for the month of December. As I was thinking of my ideal everyday life, there are certain non-negotiables that I want to happen in those days.
What are the non-negotiables in your life?
For the month of December, my nonnegotiables are self-care and self-nurturing habits that I need to get back to. I am doing my business just as I want to but there are other pieces of me that are suffering. Gina said to discover those items and start doing them every single day. She suggested sticking with 3 things but I have 5.
The non-negotiables that I need to get me to my next level life include…
Yoga every day. I will be doing this with my daughters. I was going to start my morning this way but didn’t want the pressure of doing it early so I have it scheduled into my day at 4 pm.
Reading. This is something I already do every day but it will always be a part of my life so it felt natural to put it on the list.
Meditate. I started meditating again last night. It felt so good to just let my body and my mind stop and just be.
Reading a bedtime story to my kids. I am lucky that my kids love to read and we used to read a bedtime story all the time. I let it slip and I want to get it back. So every night at 7:30pm, I will be reading to my youngest child.
Journaling. I love to journal. It is something that I have always done but lately I have put an end to doing it. I am bringing it back. I am not quite sure when I am going to fit it into my day as I am letting that part flow more.
The one I didn’t put on the list is visualization. I tried it last night but I couldn’t decide what to focus on so it didn’t feel natural. So today I am planning to write out what my life will look like to help with the visualization process.
I want you to remember that no matter what ANY book says, what ANY expert says or what ANY coach says...
YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO YOURSELF. You need to do what works for you and only you. Take the advice and add it into your life in a way that feels authentic to you. That is what I was missing.
I would love it if you would share your nonnegotiables for the month of December. Let’s go on this growing journey together.